I don’t care that people know you’re a rapist.
Because you are one.
I don’t care if people find out about how you abused me. I don’t care if people talk about you behind your back. I don’t care if your life and career get ruined. Not after what happened, and all the shit I’ve had to go through just to try to live and deal with the aftermath of your actions. Trying to find sympathy for you is like trying to find sympathy for a man who brutally murdered someone and doesn’t think it’s fair for him to be stuck in jail his whole life.
You choose to do what you did. Whether long before or in that moment, you made the choice to commit an act of violence towards me. Actions have consequences. You can’t aim a gun at someone and pull the trigger, then expect to be able to take it all back. You just can’t. Even if your mind was impaired, it doesn’t change the outcome or effects of what you’ve done.
You pulled that trigger. There’s no going back. You can’t undo it.
And trust me, I wish you could too.
I have never mentioned your name. My own name is not even connected to this site. I occasionally link my blog to my Twitter, but that’s it. And I hardly know anyone in person on there. The only way you could have found this site is by stalking my Twitter. Which is insane. Your emailed threats of how much I’m “costing” you are ridiculous. I have never gone to the police. I have never told anyone that would cause you harm. I have simply just wanted you out of my life, and desired a safe space to process and work through my feelings.
In fact, I’ve protected you. But now I’m done. I’m still not going to reveal your name- but if people figure out who you are, then fine. I’m not going to feel bad about it or apologize. I’m not going to apologize for what I’ve said. I have the right to voice what happened to me and try to write and work through it. This is my truth. Whether you like the reality of it or not.
You’re the only one incriminating yourself.
Tell me, if my name or your name isn’t connected to these blog posts, how do you know this is about you? How on earth could this cost you anything? What career or life would get ruined by an anonymous blog that never mentions your name?
If the shoe fits, then wear it. You obviously know you are guilty. Your pathetic attempts at a power grab and manipulation aren’t going to work anymore. I went through a lot of therapy after we broke up, and trust me, I see you now for who you really are.
You know what actually creates hardships in normal life functioning? Being raped and abused.
You are free. You face nothing except your own guilt and narcissism. And that’s not my problem.
Hear me loud and clear: This isn’t a threat. I just simply don’t care anymore if people happen to eventually discover who you are.
However, if you refuse to cease trying to contact me- then this is your public warning that I will have no other choice but to go to the authorities.
I’m not actively coming after you in any way, but I’m not going to let you bully me anymore, and I’m not going to stress about people figuring out who you really are, and what you’ve done.
You’re not the victim here. I am. Because of you and your choices and actions.
In fact, you making this all about you like you’re the one hurting, says a lot about you. I don’t feel sorry for you.
As my mother would say: You made your bed. Now you have to sleep in it.
P.S. I haven’t read your “response” post, and I’m never going to. I don’t owe you any more of my time. I don’t owe it to you to speak to you. I don’t owe you anything. Period. Not after what you did. Leave me alone.